As a Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in treating children and teens, I do get calls from parents concerned that their teen is in an abusive relationship. Many times parents actually call because they are noticing the symptoms but are unaware of the problem. “My teen never hangs out with her friends anymore,” they’ll say, and “she’s always putting herself down.” Parents and teens are often unaware of the different ways abuse can show up in a relationship. I’ve talked to teens that are confused about why they are unhappy, “but she doesn’t hit me?” The truth is abuse can take many forms and be perpetrated by both males and females.
How can parents help?
1.Talk to your teen! In order to have open communication, avoid coming from an authoritative stance. Be curious about your teens relationships and ask her how she feels around that person. Bring up the topic and then let it rest before bringing it up again. You want your teen to know that you are there and this is something they can talk to you about without being judged or peppered with a hundred questions.
2. Did you know that constant texting can be a form of control and intrusion? The best way to help your teen avoid getting involved in an abusive relationship is knowing what abuse looks like. Learn together! Seek out resources that your teen can connect with! Here are two that teens and parents will appreciate: http://www.besmartbewell.com/domestic-violence/ and http://www.loveisrespect.org/. Look at resources together to generate conversation.
Talking with your teen and learning together creates a safe and nonjudgmental space for your teen to freely explore and communicate what he or she does and doesn’t want in friendships and dating relationships.
How can parents help?
1.Talk to your teen! In order to have open communication, avoid coming from an authoritative stance. Be curious about your teens relationships and ask her how she feels around that person. Bring up the topic and then let it rest before bringing it up again. You want your teen to know that you are there and this is something they can talk to you about without being judged or peppered with a hundred questions.
2. Did you know that constant texting can be a form of control and intrusion? The best way to help your teen avoid getting involved in an abusive relationship is knowing what abuse looks like. Learn together! Seek out resources that your teen can connect with! Here are two that teens and parents will appreciate: http://www.besmartbewell.com/domestic-violence/ and http://www.loveisrespect.org/. Look at resources together to generate conversation.
Talking with your teen and learning together creates a safe and nonjudgmental space for your teen to freely explore and communicate what he or she does and doesn’t want in friendships and dating relationships.
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