Is your child’s hair in dire need of a trim but the thought of taking her to the stylists makes you cringe. You’ve tried bribery and appeasing but you throw your hands up in frustration wondering what the big deal is. It’s only a haircut after all, right? Well yes and no. Children’s senses can be hyper aware so having cut hair on their face and hearing the buzzers or scissors near their ears can send them over the top. Here’s some good advice to help the haircut go much smoother- pick a few that you would like to try and start a couple weeks before the planned hair “trim.”

1. Yep, call it a hair “trim” rather than a haircut. The word cut can cause a fearful response before the scissors even come out.

2. This is my favorite- Play barbershop with your child regularly. One of the biggest reasons your child is afraid is because they don’t know what to expect and so they feel vulnerable. If they had a bad experience the first time- then that’s what they remember. Playing the routine out at home makes them feel in control! You can glue yarn onto a doll or Styrofoam ball and use paper towels as the tissue that goes around the neck. It’s important to go through every step. Say out loud what the “doll” may be feeling and speak to those worries or sensations.  Encourage your child to put words to the experience. Take turns having your child be the barber and the customer. Use phrases that a hairdresser would use, like “look down” and “turn your head to the left.” Get out smelly lotions if the salon you use is generally fragrant and use real equipment that may be part of the experience (clippers, blow dryer) but work these into the play routine gradually.

3. If you know that your kid is sensitive to new experiences- help him slowly adjust. On first visit, just point out the salon. On the second visit, walk through it. On the third visit, sit in the waiting area for a few minutes. This will acclimate your child so that on the appointment day- there will be familiarity and less to take in for the first time.

4. A few tidbits for the day of: Find the right kid friendly stylists and stick with the same one. This will create more familiarity and routine. Don’t offer too many rewards. Tempting your child with a big treat can inadvertently tell them that this is a big deal. Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for certain accommodations. Some kids feel better when they are not facing the mirror or when they can skip the blow dryer.

With patience and practice a trip to the barber shop can go from a dreaded experience to a simple appointment.

Peaceful Moments…. While the Microwave is on

As I turn my calendar to Dec 1st I notice the conflict of wanting to start checking off my holiday to-do list and wanting to slow down. Is it okay to slow down? Even if you answer that it is indeed okay to slow down, even good to do so- when do we find the time?

I work with many parents that agree that it is a nice idea to take time for themselves, to cultivate that inner voice, to rest (and not just at 11 pm when the kids are down, the homework checked, the dishes done). Cognitively, we understand the regenerative effects of slowing down. Realistically, we don’t all have time, space, or even desire to sit on a meditation pillow.

The good news is that there are several moments in the day that we can make our own. The title gave my trick away. Next time you heat up a cup of tea or some leftovers- don’t get busy tidying up the kitchen. Multitask by taking that 30 seconds or 2 minutes to breathe deeply, notice your body, and clear your mind. If you can take that peacefulness into your meal or let it linger with your steeping tea- great. But if not, if you must attend to the kids, the shopping list, the holiday planning- go ahead. I promise you that these little moments add up and make a positive difference.

Another of my favorites is to sit in the car once I’m home for just two breaths. Where might your hidden moments be? I have one family that now takes one commercial break out of their program to just sit. You get to model and teach many things to your kids- how about how to slow down. A favorite adrenaline sports motto of mine is “Go Slow to Go Fast.” It simply means that if we go too fast through preparation, we may miss something vital. The kids that I work with go fast every day. They have also learned that they must slow down, just a tad, to make sure that the homework is in the backpack or the milk is put back in the refrigerator. What if just pausing a moment or two a day changed the pace of our culture?